And We Never Understood the Hurricanes jokes
by hazelpunk2xw
Summary: It's backstage of the WWE before and during Pay-Per-Views. All the superstars go a bit crazy in this short but funny tale. Includes Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Hurricane, Jeff Hardy, Edge, Christian, Mighty Molly, Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, Lance Storm an
1. Default Chapter

Pay per view day and all were stressing out. Hazel and Sophia packed their bags and left their hotel room ready for a long day and Trenton Stadium.  
  
"I have to call, Brock," Sophia remembered whipping out her cell phone.  
  
"Isn't it amazing what one ripped bag in a cab door can do for two people?" Hazel asked. It was true; One day in North Carolina Sophia's bag got stuck in the cab door. The cab driver (being an ass) drove off, ripping it apart. Luckily, Brock was nearby and gave girl a helping hand. Next thing you know, eyes met, hands touch and BOOYAH, they were dating.  
  
"Don't you have to call Christian?" she asked holding the phone to her ear. Hazel shrugged. It wasn't that big a deal. So what if she and Christian had a few dinners together. They weren't a couple for real. They were just written in that way. She, Christian and Edge had reincarnated to Brood. She knew that the whole relationship with she and Christian was all workings of Christian.but who cared? She was with one of the hottest guys in the WWE.  
  
"Hey babe," Sophia smiled getting into the cab.  
  
"Oh brother," Hazel snorted getting in the front seat. That cab ride was thee, (and I do mean thee) longest ever.  
  
"Don't those damn cell phone batteries ever die!" Hazel screamed.  
  
"Where are you? I don't see you," she looked around as they entered the arena parking lot.  
  
"Forget it, I'll get out and walk!" Hazel jumped out of the car and was mobbed by fans. She gladly signed autographs and went down the hall towards her dressing room.  
  
"Yo, Haze," called Jeff Hardy. "Good luck tonight."  
  
"You two, me and my guys, you Matt and Lita. Great match I can feel it."  
  
"You're telling me. How's the shoulder?"  
  
"Great."  
  
"Well I'm fin' to get dinner, I'll catch you in the cafeteria."  
  
"Alright." Jeff bounced off waving and unintentionally bumped into Sophia.  
  
"WATCH IT!" she barked. "...What? No it was just the purple haired boy. Where are you? i still don't see you..."  
  
Hazel went back down the hall to the room marked "Brood". She went in and jumped back out.  
  
"SORRY!" she covered her eyes. Edge came out wet and in a towel.  
  
"No...problem...just knock next time okay?" he panted in a laugh.  
  
"Yeah right. Just um, go put some pants on will you, please...now."  
  
Edge went back in and Christian marched up the hall with Trish. She passed a dirty look to Hazel and grabbed Christian's hand.  
  
"I'll see you in a little bit?" she cooed.  
  
"Um, yeah sure-" he said looking from Hazel to Trish  
  
She kissed Christian quickly and started to waved goodbye.  
  
"Oh, Hi Hazel," she tried to play off.  
  
"Hi tramp-Trish...I mean Trish."  
  
Trish grunted and marched away. Christian wiped his mouth. "God only knows where those have been," he muttered.  
  
"Naw, that's to many names for Him to even know. More like where they haven't been." Christian grinned and reached for the doorknob. Hazel knocked it away.  
  
"No...Edge,...naked...wait here. safer."  
  
Christian pat her on the back. "You poor, poor girl."  
  
"...I don't see you...where are you?" Brock asked walking backwards down the hall. "Where? I'm there now.Where are you? no...no...no, yeah..." he passed the two still babbling.  
  
"It's been an hour of that," Hazel pointed out.  
  
Again Christian patted her on the back.  
  
"Poor, poor, poor girl."  
  
Edge came out of the room in his attire and yellow awesomeness shirt. "All yours," he looked to Christian and winked.  
  
"You go first." Christian offered.  
  
"Thanks," Hazel went in quickly pushing Edge out.  
  
"Wow, that wasn't what I'd expected." Edge shrugged.  
  
^*^^^*^**^*^*^*^*^^*^^^*^*^**^  
  
"So the dog holds up the bag of cheetos and says, 'hey, that's my gopher!'" Hurricane laughed. Bradshaw chuckled bagging on the lunch table.  
  
"Gopher!" he managed to wheeze.  
  
"I don't get it," HHH shrugged.  
  
"What's not to get? The gopher, the dog...pennies and cheetos!" Hurricane laughed more.  
  
"Cheetos!" Bradshaw coughed.  
  
"I don't get it!" HHH screamed. "Damn you and those stupid jokes." He got up to leave. He bumped into Sophia who was passing.  
  
"WATCH IT!"  
  
"Sorry lovely," he smiled looking her over. "Looking good Sophia."  
"You had your chance...now move. Now Brock I'm looking and looking but i don't...oh!....no i don't see you but i found a nickel."  
  
"Whatever," HHH left the cafeteria.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*  
"...So Hazel was standing there?" Jackie asked Trish.  
  
"Yep. Kissed him right in front of her," Trish bragged.  
  
"That's stupid," Jazz snorted. "That seemed mighty slutty to me."  
"Jazz," Stacy hushed.  
  
"What? It was. Just flat out slutty. Yep yep yep. Slut slut slut. Trish Slut-us."  
  
Trish huffed.  
  
"She doesn't mean that," Stacy cooed.  
  
"To hell i do. That was dumb."  
  
"What are we talking about?" Lita asked taking a seat.  
  
"Little miss ho-body kissing on someone else's man," Jazz pointed to Trish.  
  
"Get your finger out my face," she growled.  
She pointed harder.  
  
"That's it!" Trish pounced over the table and went to choke Jazz. Jazz dodged and Trish slid of the table.  
  
"Oh it's on now!' Jazz dropped to her knees and began to punch.  
  
"Somebody help!" Lita called trying to pull Jazz off Trish.  
  
"Why?" Jericho asked shoving popcorn into his mouth.  
  
*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"It's one and two and one and true," Kurt stretched in the hall.  
  
"Hey loser," Storm waved. "I see your getting ready for you match tonight. But don't fret loser, your gonna lose. To me. Tonight. Loser."  
  
Kurt gave a bewildered eyebrow.  
  
"What?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"All done!" Hazel called to Christian. He went into the locker room and set his stuff down.  
  
"Do you want me to wait on you so we can go to dinner?" she asked tying her boots.  
  
"Naw, I'll meet you there."  
  
"Okay," she left.  
  
Christian hit his forehead. "I need to be more firm."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^**^  
  
"Shane o Mac?" Molly Holly called passing by the stranger.  
  
"Shh! I'm not supposed to be here until the end," he hushed her.  
  
"Oh, I see." she nodded. "I guess I'll leave you alone then."  
  
"You mind?"  
  
"Actually I do."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"What!?" he screamed.  
  
Molly Holly grabbed Shane o Mac. "I've been waiting so long to do this."  
  
"Oh god-"  
  
Molly bent down and kissed Shane. DUN  
  
DUN  
  
DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Alright...okay...so what is going on backstage? Can you please tell me? Christian can't drop hints...Hazel saw Edge nakie...HHH can't understand a simple joke...Trish is gonna die...(by the way, what was up with the kissing Christian thing?) ...Molly's practically loving on Shane (who's NOT THERE WINK WINK) and Sophia and Brock are just circling the stadium for nothing. Will the cell phone batteries die? Will Jericho run out of popcorn? Will Bradshaw gain control of his laughter? back to the tale... 


	2. Five minutes later

"Oh I know that joke, you didn't get it?" Steph asked HHH.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Tough on you." walks away. ^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^  
  
"So I'll do the cross body, and then you put me in submission like this," Jeff demonstrated to Hazel by twisting back his arm.  
  
"Oh I see. So that way you can reverse it into this..." she reversed.  
  
"Exactly," Jeff smiled. Christian passed hoping to find Hazel, (which he did) and turned away sadly.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
"I...Can't ...Breath...."Trish coughed.  
  
"That should teach you to keep your mouth shut." Jazz snorted though her grit teeth.  
  
"Ha ha, "Farrooq laughed taking popcorn from Jericho. "Who needs bikini matches when you got a truly wanted cat fight right here!"  
  
"I agree!" Bradshaw chuckled.  
  
^^*^*^^*^*^*^**^*^*^^*^*^*^^*^** "Molly!" Steph screamed.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"First match in 30," the stagehand told Crash and John Cena. They nodded as Brock passed them frustrated. "No I don't!" he screamed into his cell to Sophia.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Hey Lita," Hazel called.  
  
"Not now, she rushed away.  
  
"Okay," she turned. She headed back to the locker room to put on her make up. She needed to get gothed up.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^^**^*^*  
  
"Do you think she's cute?" Matt asked Jeff.  
  
"Dude, you got Lita, shut up."  
  
"Come on, Stacy or Victoria."  
  
"Are you daffy!" Jeff screamed.  
  
"No I'm Donald...ha ha?"  
  
"Shut up. Just shut......up."  
  
*^^*^^*^*^*^^*^*^**^^*^^*^*^*^^*^  
  
Sophia was getting upset. She hung up her cell phone (which was useless cause it was dead anyway) and growled. "I have a match to get ready for." HHH passed her by sweaty from just doing a few push-ups.  
  
"hey." she thought.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^8  
  
"Trish...how many fingers am I holding up?......Trish?" Torrie asked.  
  
Jazz dusted off her hands. "Who's next?" she snorted looking at those staring at her. They all turned quickly.  
  
"Um, she's not responding," Torrie sighed.  
  
"uh oh."  
  
*^*^***^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Oh great. Trish is dead, Lita is ignoring people...Steph caught Molly and Shane...HHH still doesn't get the joke, ....Sophia and Brock just gave up...but hey, HHH is on the way...wink wink...Christian misunderstood Jeff and Hazel and the first match is soon to start....what next? 


	3. And still it goes

Hazel walked into her dressing room to find Christian sitting silently.  
  
"Hey," she smiled. He barely looked up. "Christian?"  
  
"Excuse me," he left the room.  
  
"What is going on?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Molly can you please tell me what you were doing?" Steph crossed her arms. "Or else you are in big trouble."  
  
"Well um," she sighed.  
  
Shane grabbed her hand and kissed it quickly. "Molly and I are in love. I'm proposing to her tonight in the ring."  
  
"What?!" Steph gasped.  
  
"What?" Molly grinned.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
"Okay Trish is talking again," Stacy announced. (Long sigh from crowd).  
  
Christian pushed through the crowd and went straight to Trish.  
  
"Trish?"  
  
Her eyes wandered to his dreamily.  
  
He leaned over and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her. (Gasp from crowd). *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ First match begins. Crash -vs. Cena. Crash wins with help of Hardcore Holly. Second match starts, Jazz vs. Dawn Marie.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Sophia and HHH are walking arm in arm around backstage. Still no Brock, where did he go?  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Hazel was coming back into the hall when she saw Christian and a total out of it Trish. She looked away quickly and rushed for help from Jeff.  
  
"You ready? We're on next," he said stretching.  
  
"I guess," she leaned on the wall.  
  
"Remember submission, reverse pin. And a bunch of stuff before that. Watch your shoulders." he joked.  
  
"Sure," she sighed.  
  
"You alright?" he asked standing upright.  
  
"I don't know," she shook her head. Jeff put an arm around her and shook her to cheer up.  
  
"Cheer up lady luck, I need ya out there. Here, let me walk you to your platform."  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Jazz wins her match. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^  
  
The Hardy-Lita music begins and the crowd cheers somewhat. They get the ring and then the lights fall. Are you ready? The flames go up and the Brood comes up.  
  
"I'ma enjoy this," Christian told Hazel.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Beating up your little friend." he eyed Jeff.  
  
*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Propose!" Steph screamed. Molly was just a shocked as Steph.  
  
"Yes, I love her, she loves me, and we love each other and so, yes. Shut up," he pointed to Steph. "Come on my love. Let's go love each other in a loving way."  
  
"I'd...love...to?" Molly sighed.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^* "You know, I don't get it," Sophia told HHH.  
  
"Thank you!" he cheered giving her a hug.  
  
"What the hell!" Brock screamed.  
  
"Bout time!" Sophia shrugged. "Too late now."  
  
"What?"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"I ...still. don't...understand ...you!" Kurt tried to spell out to Lance Storm.  
  
"Well we'll see in the ring, tonight, loser. Where you'll lose, to me tonight. Cause your a loser. Loser. Tonight and forever. You loser. You'll see." He left the room.  
  
"What?" Kurt cried again.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^ "Christian stop!" Hazel screamed banging on the turnbuckle. He ignored her. Jeff wreath in pain as Christian held onto submission.  
  
"I don't know what he's doing but my God, he's gone really hurt him," Edge whispered to Hazel.  
  
"I know." she sighed looking into Jeff's eyes.  
Okay...Christian is going crazy, Sophia is with HHH and now Brock shows up...Molly and Shane are engaged...Kurt still doesn't understand Lance but at least HHH is not alone in not understanding the joke. 


End file.
